Real Communication. Real Results. | Cornerstone Coaching & Training

Don’t End up in Your Parents Basement |12 Ways to Get a Job

by Betty Lochner on April 6, 2012

Okay, what now?

My daughter, Kalli, is graduating from college next month and moving back home until she finds a “real” job. Not a terrible thing, really. I‘m excited to have her back in the same town. But, I know the honeymoon will end after a few weeks when my husband and I start missing the empty nest we have gotten used to.

I’ve been putting my career coach hat on. It’s a legit hat – I was a career counselor for seven years at The Evergreen State College. I’ve been busy giving her and her friends my best “get a job” advice.

Here they are – My Top 12 Tips for Getting a Job:

1. Make a vision board. Visualization is a powerful tool. Make a list of the top 5 jobs you’d like to land – or dream companies you’d like to work for. Use pictures or words to describe what you want to do. Put a picture of the things that signal success to you – a new car, apartment, etc. Put it on your wall or by your computer and look at it daily to keep you focused.

2. Update your resume.

Use a good template and have someone else review it.
If you have a very specific area of interest, embrace that but don’t make it so specific that you aren’t considered for other jobs.
Tailor your resume and cover letter to the job you are applying for. Never send out a generic resume for a specific job.

3. Use your Alumni resources.

Attend as many job fairs, resume writing workshops, and networking events as you can while you are still on campus. Go to ones that aren’t related to your discipline as well. You never know who you might meet or connect with that has a friend who has a friend who you can meet. Say something like, “I’m really interested in a career in teaching, but this sounds really intriguing!”

4. Use the faculty in your discipline.

Tell them how much you admire them, then ask for their help – get letters of references, ask for referrals, ask for advice, ask them to do a mock interview with you.

5. Develop relationships.

People like to help people they like. Check in with your friend’s mother who runs a business and ask if she has friends she can introduce you to. Find and get to know people connected to businesses you are interested in.

6. Follow-up.

Get business cards and information and then keep in touch with everyone you’ve met. Be proactive and make a plan for following up on a regular basis. Make a daily or weekly job search chart that includes follow-up phone calls and emails. If they can’t help, ask for introductions to others. Make finding a job your job. Don’t wait for people to follow up with you, even if they say they will.

7. Network, network, network!

Tell everyone you see that you are looking for a job. Be enthusiastic and passionate about your interests and goals. Have a business card or resume handy.

8. Practice your elevator speech.

Be able to articulate who you are, what your skills are, and what you want to do in 30 seconds or less. Practice with a friend so you sound enthusiastic, smart, and sincere.

9. Be open to a wide range of possibilities.

Don’t rule out applying for a job out of your discipline area or in a different location. I wanted to be in Seattle when I graduated and ended up in a small town 4 hours away making minimum wage. You may have to start at the beginning of the career ladder. Be okay working up to your dream job.

10. Use LinkedIn.

Set up an account, get recommendations, and join LinkedIn groups in your discipline area. Go to the Answer section and join a conversation, or ask a question. It’s a great resource for job networking. You can also find recruiters for your areas of interests. I’m happy to include you in my network!

11. Always be prepared to meet your next boss.

You never know who you will run into while you are running an errand. Take it up a notch and be mindful of generational stereotypes - don’t go out in public wearing something that may turn off a future employer – I’m talking cleavage, skin, and sloppy or dirty looking clothes.

12. Say “thank you” alot.

Be appreciative of every bit of help you get. Be polite, respectful, and thankful. Send handwritten thank you cards for those who get you an introduction or interview. Remember, people want to help people they like!

If you have specific questions about your job search, I’d love to help! Please leave a comment here!

_________________

Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home. To find out more about Cornerstone’s services and offerings visit:

http://www.cornerstone-ct.com

For more communication tips and skills:

NEW on Kindle 52 Communication Tips

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Top two ways to motivate employees

by Betty Lochner on April 4, 2012

cute animals1 233x300 Top two ways to motivate employees Sometimes it’s the little things we do or say that make all the difference. A recent survey by McKinsey Quarterly, asked which incentives were the most effective in motivating employees.

And, as with all communication skills, with a little adaptation this holds true for relationships at home as well (pets and humans).

The top two responses were:

1) Praise and commendation from my immediate manager (67 percent)

2) Attention from leaders (62 percent)

Wow. Money isn’t in the top two responses. That’s pretty compelling evidence that developing praise and appreciation skills can have a huge impact in motivating employees. That seems simple enough. So, why don’t more supervisors give positive attention and praise to their employees?

I know from experience that its not as simple as just telling supervisors to praise their employees more. It’s not that supervisors don’t want to give effective praise – the issue is that they don’t know how or don’t feel comfortable doing so. Feedback I’ve gotten from supervisors who struggle with giving praise are that it takes too much time, it feels insincere, or even that it doesn’t match their personality.

Here are some easy ways to teach the skills of appreciation:

1) Model the behavior you want to see.

2) Praise something your coworker has done well. Identify the specific actions that you liked.

3) Show regular appreciation by saying “thank you.” Contributing to a more gracious and polite workplace is appreciated by all.

3) One word: food. Take coworkers or staff to lunch for a birthday, a special occasion or for no reason at all. Or, just leave their favorite treat on their desk and say “I’m glad you work here!”

Are you motivating your employees, family and pets? Please leave a comment with your top two ways!

_________________

Betty phot 21 214x300 Top two ways to motivate employees Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home. To find out more about Cornerstone’s services and offerings visit:

http://www.cornerstone-ct.com

For more communication tips and skills:

NEW on Kindle 52 Communication Tips

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Hey! Mind your communication piles

by Betty Lochner on March 28, 2012

When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~ Viktor Frankl

Here’s one of my all time favorite tips: don’t wait for a crisis to communicate. A small issue can turn into a really big one if you don’t deal with it right away.

Most of us are conflict adverse – we hate it. We put it off. We pretend it isn’t there – or isn’t that bad. But, the truth is that the longer damaging or uncomfortable things are left unspoken, the longer they remain damaging and uncomfortable and the bigger the pile gets, until one day – Kaboom! You have a really big issue or problem to deal with. One that could have been prevented or minimized.

So, rather than avoiding issues that come up – or hoping they will go away – address them soon after they happen. Don’t wait. Have the conversation you need to have the first time the issue comes up. It’s usually not easy and hardly ever fun, but if you practice you really will get better at it. And the rewards are sweet – better relationships and way less stress!

To start the practice of shoveling your piles before they become a big issue, you must say what needs to be said sooner, rather than later. Always do that in a kind and respectable way.

If something happens that just doesn’t feel right, instead of letting it go, have the courage to address it as soon as it happens. For example say, “It seems like you aren’t happy with me. Can we talk about that?”, or, “Can you help me understand the problem and how I can help fix it?”, or, “I’m concerned that this is happening. Can we talk about how to resolve it?”

Speak your truth sooner rather than later, and mind your piles.

_________________

Betty phot 21 214x300 Hey! Mind your communication piles Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home. To find out more about Cornerstone’s services and offerings visit:

http://www.cornerstone-ct.com

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Do you make this communication mistake?

by Betty Lochner on March 19, 2012

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. ~ Brian Tracy, Author

Have you ever asked someone to do something and got a different response than you expected? Or worse, have you just assumed they know what you want?

Making assumptions is one of the most common communication mistakes we make.

Most of us have been guilty of making assumptions that people understand what we want, even when we don’t tell them what that is. Then, we get upset when our undisclosed expectations aren’t met. No wonder we struggle in relationships!

To increase the success of your message being heard and understood, make sure that the information you need to convey – whether it is written or spoken – is clear and directly communicated.

Use language that is specific and unambiguous.
Explain what the behavior or action looks like.
Check that the receiver understands the message as you intended.

One way to communicate clearly is to descirbe what the behavior looks like to you. For example, “I expect you to be home by 9:00. What that looks like to me is that you are home and in your room with the door closed before the clock in the living room strikes 9:00.”

Then, get confirmation that you were understood. Ask “Do you understand?; Can you do that?” or better yet, ask them to say back or paraprase what you just said to make sure that they understand.

The key to being a clear communicator is to be open and honest about your expectations. For example, rolling your eyes does not clearly convey what you expect soemone to wear to work. Say, specifically – “I expect you dress appropriatly for this work place. What that looks like is - skirts that are no shorter than 4 inches above your knee, cleavage and midrif covered, pants and shirts that are not tight.” Then, if they wear something inappropriate, tell them – “that skirt is too short for this work place.”

Practice being clear and tell people what you expect and want. Have a conversation that starts with “I would like you to” or “I want this to happen”. Be specific and state your expectations right up front. Don’t wait until someone disappoints you because they didn’t know what you meant.

_________________

Betty phot 21 214x300 Do you make this communication mistake? Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home. To find out more about Cornerstone’s services and offerings visit:

http://www.cornerstone-ct.com

For more communication tips and skills:

Sign up for our newsletter and receive 6 Essential Steps for Dealing With Conflict.
Join me on Facebook for daily communication tips, advice and challenges!

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Top 5 tips to improve your appreciation skills

by Betty Lochner on March 7, 2012

Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. – Voltaire

P1010198 225x300 Top 5 tips to improve your appreciation skills

Appreciation is a Powerful Communication Tool

You may not think of practicing appreciation as an obvious communication skill but it’s been studied and proven that adding purposeful appreciation and gratitude towards others on a regular basis can be one of the most powerful communication skills you can hone.

The bottom line is this: everyone has a real need to feel appreciated. It makes us feel valued and connected. When we feel genuinely valued and appreciated, we will connect and respond better, even perform better.

Appreciate and recognize the people around you.

Appreciation is a simple communication skill that brings amazing results in building and improving relationships. If you aren’t doing it already, start adding appreciation to your daily routine.

First, pay attention to those that are doing good things around you and encourage them. Be accessible when they need you. And, most important, thank them for what they do for you.

We often underestimate how very powerful the small things are. Here are my top 5 tips to improve your appreciation skills:

1) Be mindful of what is going on around you and be “present” in the moment.
Be open and receptive to giving and receiving appreciation and recognition. Pay attention and catch people doing good things.

2) Focus on individual accomplishment.
It’s much more powerful than acknowledging a group. At staff meetings, when someone has done a good job, acknowledge them in front of their peers. At home, announce how pleased you are with your child in front of their friends, or your husband in front of the kids.

3) Be as specific as possible.
When you offer appreciation, describe the impact of what was done. Most people like to hear “you did a good job.” However, adding a comment on the difference they made can make the appreciation impact even greater. Don’t just say you appreciate someone, give a specific example: “I appreciate you tracking me down for a phone call when I wandered away.” or “You did a good job of putting your clothes away today.” or “Dave, I appreciate you for taking the lead on that research. It’s really making a difference in the quality of the report.”

4) When you see it, say it.
Give the recognition as soon as possible after you see something to appreciate. Timeliness is important, so don’t wait!

5) Be sincere.

Don’t even try to fake it. People will quickly catch on to you and the impact will be null (it could even make the situation worse).

TRY THIS EXERCISE:

Who and what have you not fully appreciated?
List all the people and things in your life for which you are grateful. In some special way, say “thank you” and show your appreciation to the people who mean the most to you.

Visit your list often and you will find that appreciating others is good for you, too!

____________________________________

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Simple Steps for Effective Communication | Online Course

by Betty Lochner on February 28, 2012

Betty Lochner, Course Instructor and Coach

For some time now, I’ve been wanting to take the content of my live workshops on interpersonal communication and put them into an online course. It’s been a while in the making, but I did it!

I’m pretty excited about being able to offer my communication skills workshop to anyone and at a low cost! My live workshops are popular, but they are, well, LIVE. That means they cost more to deliver and let’s face it – I can’t get to every where I’d like to!

If you can answer “yes” to any of the following questions, then you may want to check out this course. It’s all about teaching you how to overcome communication challenges and equip you with new skills that will make you more effective in the workplace and at home.

Do you want to work better with your boss, co-workers, and clients?
Do you have someone you just don’t get along with?
Do you wish you could get your ideas across better?
Do you want to be more productive and get better results at work or home?
Do you have a relationship at home that could use a tune-up?
Do you want to gain confidence and become a better skilled communicator?

In this course, you’ll learn many useful “how-to’s,” and take part in exercises designed to build your communication skills tool box. You’ll learn some small changes you can make that will have a huge impact on understanding, and being understood. It’s easy and fun — all the steps and activities are emailed to you and you work at your own pace.

The course is delivered in four steps:

Step 1: Results Oriented Communication

Step 2: Communication Strengths: Embracing Differences

Step 3: Listen Up: Using active listening skills

Step 4: Straight Talk: Say it with clarity and tact

Each step has several activities and is delivered to you via email. It’s easy and you can take the course from anywhere — your home, office, or even a coffee shop!

So there you have it, and here are the details. Check it out — the first course starts this month. You can register between now and March 15th. And, I’m offering a really low introductory price that includes some cool bonuses.

Click here to learn more and to register!

Questions or comments? Please share below!

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Betty Lochne Betty phot 21 150x150 Simple Steps for Effective Communication | Online Course

r is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home. To find out more about Cornerstone’s services and offerings visit:

http://www.cornerstone-ct.com

For more communication tips and skills:

Join me on Facebook for daily communication tips, advice and challenges!

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