Kindness Counts

by Betty Lochner on November 24, 2010

People often ask me – what is the most effective communication skill they should have for transforming their lives?  Some of my favorites are LISTENING, PAUSING, APPRECIATING, but I think the best answer  is simply KINDNESS COUNTS!

I know that kindness may sound too simple to be that important, but it really can transform your life.

How can that be?

Kindness and compassion are the principal things that make our lives meaningful. Although we don’t often think about it, the truth is that these qualities really are our primary source of joy and happiness.


Because these are the qualities from which so many other positive qualities flow – such as honesty, forgiveness, patience and generosity. They are the foundation of a good heart, and with a good heart, a good life will follow.

Even more important, when you are kind, others will follow.  You could start a revolution of kindness!

But don’t take my word for it!

For those who have ever wondered whether tiny acts of kindness have larger consequences, researchers have shown that generosity really is contagious.

A series of studies on the influence of the behavior of kindness was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, by Fowler and Christakis, (March 2010). They found that acts of giving were tripled over the course of the experiment when people saw others being kind and generous. It’s the classic monkey see, monkey do response. The study found that when people were generous, even when it seemed irrational, others followed suit.

Goodness spurs goodness and a single act can influence dozens more.

So, have a kind heart, be kind to one another and watch what else transforms in your life!


Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of  Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home.

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