Love the one you’re with (that’s you!)

by Betty Lochner on February 12, 2014

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Are you your own worst enemy? You may not think you are, but how you treat yourself can make a huge difference in how you communicate with others.
In fact, whether we like it or not, what you believe about yourself is who you are.
If you aren’t always your own best friend, here are five ways you can learn to love the one you are with.
 1. Be self-aware.
Listen to your inner chatter. What do you find yourself thinking? Are you thinking negative thoughts about yourself? Catch yourself and make a change.
 2. Pause.
When you hear yourself thinking and talking negatively, take a breath and do something calming and positive. Go for a short walk, listen to music, or something else that make you happy and relaxed. You can control your self-talk!
3. Keep a gratitude journal.
Write down all the positive things you have and all that you are grateful for daily. Give yourself affirmations for all that is going well in your life. Focus on the positive.
4. Reverse negative thoughts.
Try to explain things to yourself differently. For example, rather than beat yourself up when someone says you did something wrong, tell yourself “I am a good person who just made a mistake, that’s all.”
5. Surround yourself with positive people.
Hang out with people who think positively. Positive people can be a big support system if you let them.
Be patient with yourself. A habit of negative self talk won’t go away over night. Take some baby steps and start with just one of these strategies. And, be nice to yourself this Valentine’s Day!
Betty Lochner
Betty Lochner is a speaker, trainer and coach who helps people improve their communication at work and home. For more information or to sign up for her monthly e-newsletter visit
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