Partnership Coaching: It is time to tune-up your relationship?

by Betty Lochner on March 8, 2011

Would you like to improve your communication with your teenager, spouse, friend, co-worker, or partner?

Taking a communication skills class together is a great way to give your relationship a tune-up.  I call it partnership coaching. Not partnership changing, but partnership coaching.

And, people want to learn to communicate better, together. After every workshop I present, I have a several participants share that they wish that their teenager, spouse, friend, co-worker, or partner could have been at the workshop with them.

Partnership coaching is all about working on communication skills together – interpersonal skills, active listening, appreciation, and learning some fighting fair skills.  Most important, it’s an opportunity to look at the areas in your relationship that you may be stuck in.

The Stuck State Cycle

It’s much easier to communicate the way you always have and blame the recipient for not understanding, not trying, or not cooperating. Or maybe you just communicate again, but LOUDER.

But doing things the way you’ve always done them and expecting different results can get you into a ”stuck-state cycle”.  That is what happens when things aren’t really going well but you keep repeating similar behaviors. You may expect something different to happen, but it doesn’t. You are stuck in a place that gets you nowhere, or worse.

For example, if I continue to get the same negative reaction from my boss when I complete a staff report, maybe I need to ask for clarification on how she wants it done.  If I continue to argue with my husband because he thinks it is imperative that the left side of the sink is NOT for stacking dishes, but I refuse to find that important and continue to stack away, maybe we need to talk about a plan for doing something different.

We need to find a new way to react to the situation to get out of the cycle of ignoring instructions, stacking dishes on the wrong side, arguing about whether that’s important, and round and round. Staying in a stuck-state cycle can make you a little crazy after a while.

So, I’ve developed a new workshop that will help you get out of a stuck state cycle, or avoid one!  It’s called: Partnership Coaching: Transforming your relationship through better communication!

What communication areas are you stuck in, in your relationship?


Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of  Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home.

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