It’s really pretty simple. When we don’t deal with issues in a timely manner, they pile up. When the pile gets higher and higher, the issue becomes bigger and bigger until finally – Kaboom! It blows up and you have to deal with it as a big stinky mess, rather than a tidy little pile.
The Kaboom factor isn’t uncommon. Many relationships Kaboom a lot. Take for example the family that refuses to deal with issues and their feelings about them as they come up. They don’t communicate about them, they hold their feelings inside, and let them fester up until – Kaboom – it all blows up. Usually that happens at Thanksgiving dinner or during a family wedding, but at some point, the pile gets so high that it is no longer a little issue, but a great big one.
Avoid the Kaboom Factor: Deal with stuff sooner instead of later
To avoid dealing with big stinky piles, work on them as they happen. When something isn’t right, deal with it. When someone says something hurtful or wrong, tell them. When you need to clarify, clarify. When you need to make your expectations clearer – do it. Don’t be part of the pile building.
Shovel YOUR piles while your piles are small.
___Betty Lochner is the Owner and President of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home.
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