Real Communication. Real Results.

Author, speaker, and coach, Betty Lochner is a passionate leader, with over 25 years of experience specializing in improving interpersonal skills, building and leading teams, training supervisors, and working with different communication styles and generations. 

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Communication Skills for Success Workshop

by Betty Lochner on February 21, 2017

Communcation Workshop in Olympia WashingtonI am so excited to be offering a live community workshop this spring.  This is my most requested live course, and I’ve worked to take the best of a two-day workshop and pack into one day of fast-paced learning.

In Communication Skills for Success, you will learn simple ways to overcome communication challenges, work more cohesively and gain new skills you can take back to your team at work or at home that will build strong connections, relationships and results!

Here are the details:

What? – Communication Skills for Success  is a full day workshop that includes skills and tools for you to better communicate for better results.

You’ll learn:

  • Your own communication style and how to communicate with those with different styles and from different generations.
  • How to build a coaching culture with your work group.
  • How to give and recieve effective feedback to improve relationships and productivity.
  • How and when to have difficult conversations.  
  • How to make small changes in the way you communicate that can make a big difference. 

Our agenda for the day will include:

1.Introduction to Communication Skills for Success

2.Creating a Coaching Culture

3.Interacting with Different Styles

4.Mastering Workplace Conversations

5.The Power of Appreciation

Who? – Betty Lochner, your instructor and coach. Betty has specialized in teaching effective communication to work groups and individuals for over 25 years. Read more about Betty here.

Why? – To improve your communication skills to improve your relationships at work and at home.

When? – Monday, April 10 from 9:00 am – 4:00 pm

Where? – Olympia, Washington at the Capital Event Center- just 50 miles south of downtown Seattle. For those traveling from out of town there are several hotels near the event center.  Contact me for a list.

How much? –  $125.  Early bird savings $20 if you register by March 15 ($105)

How do I pay for the workshop?   You can pay via credit card/PayPal or request an invoice be sent to your organization.   You can register by clicking here.

Course Facts

  • Class is limited to 24 people.
  • You will receive a Certificate of Course Completion documenting the course content and hours to put in your personnel file.

Who should enroll:

 * Employees at all levels of your organization who want improve their working relationships, productivity, and communicate more effectively for better results. This workshop is even more effective when you attend with at least one other person from your work workgroup.


Registration is $125.  Recieve $20 off if you register by March 15.

To register now:


Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of  Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transform your life at work
and at home, 52 Communication Tips, and Gladie’s Gift.



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Connecting Through Kindness

by Betty Lochner on February 13, 2017

Communicate KindnessIn 1982,  a woman in California scribbled the words, “practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty” on a place mat in a restaurant. That simple note gained momentum and quickly spread as a message calling all of us to practice caring and compassion. Now, every year during the week of Valentine’s Day, there is an official Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) Week. This year marked the 20th year that a week has been specifically set aside to celebrate the power of kindness.

Kindness is an act that inspires others to connect, respect, and make a contribution to making your workplace, your home, your community, the nation, and the world a better place to live.

I recently wrote about how to your show love this Valentine’s Day to ones you love.  Showing kindness to those outside of our loved ones, is what RAK is all about.  It doesn’t have to stop with a designated week of the year. Here are a few simple ways to step up your daily acts of kindness.

  1.  Compliment the first 5 people you encounter each day.
  2. Volunteer at your favorite non-profit (food bank, animal shelter….)
  3. Give a card or flowers to someone who is shut in or living in a nursing home.
  4. Take treats to your local fire station, your day care worker, your beautician, or others that impact your life.
  5. Say please and thank you with a smile to everyone you see.

For more inspiration, there’s a Random Acts of Kindness website entirely devoted to more ideas of how to celebrate.Kindness Quote

Studies show that kindness is contagious. Spreading kindness can start with you. And now, more than ever the world needs a huge dose of kindness, don’t you think?


Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of  Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transform your life at work and at home, 52 Communication Tips, and Gladie’s Gift.


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Communicate Your Love|Give Your Valentine a Heart Attack

by Betty Lochner on February 6, 2017

Valentine’s Day is coming – a great time to think about how to communicate how much you appreciate your loved ones in your life.  Communicating your love is sometimes uncomfortable, but always important. Communicating well can be the best way to improve and get what you want out of any relationship. Here are some really easy, inexpensive and tangible ways to do that.

communicate love with a Heart AttackGive them a “Heart Attack!”

Take heart shaped sticky notes and write love statements (why you love them, or simply write “I love you”). Put them all over a mirror, door, walkway, counter – wherever they will easily find and enjoy  the display.

For a variation on this – and especially great for a child – is to write one thing you like about them on their bedroom door every day leading up to Valentine’s Day. A great way to show how much you love them and build up their self esteem.

You can modify either one of these ideas to work for you based on your loved ones personality and preferences (maybe use their favorite color, or cover a plate of cookies with notes, etc.)

It’s easy, inexpensive, and very powerful.

This was done for me once for bosses day  – each staff member wrote something they liked about me and put it on a sticky note on my door. I remember walking in to work and seeing it and feeling very special all day. I kept them up as long as I could and smiled each time I saw it.

Simple and powerful. What a great way to communicate your love!

  • valentine heart attackHere are 5 more ways to give the gift of love by being a better communicator

1) Listen without interrupting. Pause, bite your tongue, do whatever it takes to let the other person finish what they are saying before you start talking.

2) Speak without accusing. Use “we” statements and “I” statements. Stay as far away from “You” statements as you can.

3) Answer without arguing. Again, take a breath and try to put yourself in their shoes for a minute.  Where are they coming from? Try to agree with at least one thing they said.

4) Enjoy without complaining. Look for the bright side of the situation.  You may have gotten lost, but you wouldn’t have seen that really cool scenery. Your coffee may be too strong, but someone went to the trouble to make it for you. Be grateful for that.

5) Promise without forgetting. When you say you’ll do something. Follow through. Never make a promise you aren’t sure you can keep and always write it down or find a way to make sure you do it when you said you would. And do it with a smile – that always makes it that much better.

Now, go out there and show your love!


Betty LochnerBetty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of  Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transform your life at work and at home, 52 Communication Tips, and Gladie’s Gift.



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10 Ways to be a More Positive Communicator

by Betty Lochner on January 30, 2017

You never know when one kind act, or one word of encouragement, can change a life forever. – Zig Ziglar

One of the most powerful ways to improve relationships is to simply be a more positive communicator. Positive communication is contagious and brings out the best in yourself and in those around you.

When you practice positive communication, people are more likely to listen to you, the conversation goes better, and the results can be transforming.

The following is an excerpt  from my book, Dancing with Strangers,  and puts the concept to work:

10 ways to be a more positive communicator

1. Think before you speak or act. Don’t just react. Pause and take a minute to think about how you want to respond in an accountable way.

2. Keep an open mind. Don’t jump to conclusions. Every story has two sides to it and somewhere in the middle you’ll find the truth.

3. Discuss rather than argue. Use your active listening skills and shovel any piles that need shoveling. Deal with the issues you need to deal with and be tender on the person and tough on the issue!

4. Cultivate a soothing voice. Remember, the tone of your voice means more than what you say. Watch your body language. Keep your body open and relaxed.

5. Never lose an opportunity to praise or say a kind word. Say something nice to someone. Look for what is good and say something about it.

6. Exceed expectations. Always go the extra mile and do more than is expected of you. Better yet, do it with a smile.

7. Learn to be objective about personal criticism. Don’t spend time worrying about things you have no control over. Be true to yourself.

8. Respect the feelings of others. Treat others the way you believe they would like to be treated.

9. Refuse to discuss the shortcomings of others. Discourage gossip. Gossip does not do anyone any good. We all know that, so why do we do it? Try making a good and positive comment for every gossipy one you hear.

10. Let your virtues speak for themselves. Dust off those communication skills you know, but don’t always use to work toward better communication and understanding.

So, step back and think about how you will communicate in a more positive way.  When you encourage positive communication within yourself, people will follow your lead and you will encourage others to do the same!

In short, conversations go a lot better – and you’ll be happier with the results – when things are approached in a positive way right from the start.

We have a duty to encourage one another. Many a time a word of praise or thanks or appreciation or cheer has kept a man on his feet. Blessed is the man who speaks such a word. – William Barclay


Betty Lochner is the Owner of Cornerstone Coaching & Training. She specializes in personal and organizational transformation and is the author of  two books on communication – Dancing with Strangers: Communication skills for transforming your life at work and at home and 52 Communication Tips.




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Keep Moving Forward

Today I reflected on the life and legacy of a great communicator, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. , and the influence his life has had on our country.

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Conflict Communication: Should I have this conversation?

We often to try to resolve a conflict when we should think through the decision of whether to have the conversation in the first place.

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